Month: October 2018

Double Minded

One of my favorite passages in scripture is the Doxology of the book of Jude.

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

I really cant tell you how many times I’ve read this passage. In fact I have often quoted or used this passage in lessons or to encourage someone else. It has been a pillar in my spiritual growth, and I often read it and reminisce about some of the things that the Lord has done to show off; but today, as scripture often does, this passage shined a spotlight on an area of my life that needs correction.

I wrote this in my journal:
I have no intellectual problem submitting to the idea that Jesus Christ is Lord of all times past and future. Eternity seems like such a speck of existence when compared to the all-encompassing enormity of our God; yet in my personal blasphemy, my actions betray my commitment to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in this clear and present darkness at work in my own heart.

The mind can imagine things to which the heart isn’t ready to surrender.  The body can do things that seem right, but are misunderstood. The spirit can long for things that the mind cannot understand, and the body cannot yet accomplish.

If you were to ask me about God’s sovereignty, I would have no problem discussing and illustrating how I believe him to be supremely sovereign, yet in my actions, I dispute those claims. You see, I continue to make decisions that contradict God’s prescribed order and will. I move contrary to His movements. I confess one thing, and do another. Then I get frustrated by the entire process, and either try to talk my way out of the responsibility of obedience, try to fix everything by ONLY changing my behavior, or I simply hide the issue altogether.

The problem is, when I do those things, NOTHING CHANGES!

My One Goal: Love the Lord, my God.

The issue isn’t my activity, my posture, or any other outward expression. My issue is that I continue to fight against the spiritual concept of submission. Sure, the body can help transform the mind, and surrender the heart, but it can also be a hypocritical performance. If I do the right things on the outside, but obsess about another thing, I’m like two people in one.

I must see these three areas as being the culmination of the whole self, and dedicated them to Christ’s service as inseparable expressions of myself.

Deuteronomy 6:4-5 illustrates for me the prescribed unification of my heart, soul, and strength. To love God “with” these elements tells me that they are separate expressions of me, and that they represent all of my being.  If I hope to stop warring with myself, they will need to be unified in love for the Lord.